In Times Such as These
This place is holy, but this place is broken
trembling I stand at the door
Tears in my eyes, my heart is broken
my hope lays shattered on the floor.
Where do I go from here? What do I do now?
I can’t lift my head, yet I know,
You’re all around.
I don’t want to sin against You.
It’s so hard to see mercy when
your hope is laying on the ground
You say to search You, so I’m begging
You now, please don’t turn me away
I can’t breathe and my cry is the only sound.
Jennifer – 2/16/2017
Have you ever been here? In a place so dark, so painful, you wonder if you will ever be able to breathe again, or ever find the strength to believe again. Have you ever screamed out, “Why!”? I did everything right. I clung to Your promises! I believed! God, why do You keep saying ‘No’… What about me…. When do I get my freedom?!
Have you ever been here? I have. I wrote this poem after my fourth set-off (parole denial) and 24 years in prison. Feeling sorry for myself was becoming a daily activity, until one day, The Holy Spirit lovingly said to me, “My Child, I didn’t say ‘No’. I said ‘wait’.” Wow, that really gave me a new perspective.
In Isaiah 40:31 (NLT) it says, “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.”
In the (KJV) the word “wait” is used 106 times. Those who wait upon The Lord. The word “wait” means “to remain inactive in readiness or expectation.” To be able to wait, you have to trust.
How many times do we rage against God when things don’t go the way we want them to? Maybe you’re like me and have experienced set-off after set-off. Or, maybe you’ve had a loved one die when you believed for healing.
I believe God wants the best for us, and sometimes the best is to wait, to teach us to trust. Imagine waiting on a beautiful sunrise and then it rains…the sun still came up, but you have to wait for the rain to stop, so you can see clearly. Our Father has promised good for us, and what a blessing to be trusted enough, to be asked to wait on the best of the best.
2 Thessalonians 3:13 (NLT) says for us to not get tired of doing good. Also, in Hebrews 12:12-13 (NLT), it says for us to get a new grip with our tired hands and strengthen our weak knees. To mark out a straight path for our feet, so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.
When we wait upon God, He teaches us how to help others find peace while they wait. So, my beloved sisters and brothers, remember…God’s “wait” is actually a “Yes” in His time. His perfect time. So, rejoice and let your faith be renewed. God has not forgotten us – He wants to give us His best!
